June 11, 2016

The 5 Habits of an Empathetic Communicator

How we respond to others is largely a function of habit. Many small, repetitive, automatic responses that grow over a long period of time form habits. Mostly, these reactions are outside of our conscious awareness. They’re built on foundations formed by our beliefs, and in most cases, they stayed fixed, usually reinforcing old beliefs and naturally – old habits. Charles […]
January 11, 2016

11 Ways to Be More Mindful in Your Work Relationships

Do you know about the marshmallow test? No, it’s not about seeing how many marshmallows you can toast and eat by the fire. It’s the classic Marshmallow Study conducted in 1968 at Stanford University by clinical psychologist Walter Mischel that became one of the longest running experiments in psychology. The initial study examined 600 children to see how they would […]
January 31, 2015

We Need New Models for Workplace Relationships Part 2

“We sense we’ve reached the end of something.” Lynne McTaggart, author, The Bond In Part 1 of this article I explored some of the forces that  have shaped our vision of workplace relationships.    There’s an increasing amount of rhetoric in business conversations today about the importance of optimizing people to maximize their strengths and  nurture  passion and creativity.  Hey, I’m […]
January 24, 2015

We Need New Models for Workplace Relationships – Part 1

I used to facilitate a three-day seminar I had co-developed for the American Management Association on conflict management. From San Francisco to New York, I heard an endless array of workplace “war stories” over five years.  One woman’s experience remains with me today.  (Sara) was distressed and sought out my advice at the end of the first day of the […]
November 1, 2014

Why Worry? ~ the Emotion Series

Worry is a trap. Lately, I’ve been falling into the worry trap too often. I’ve found myself worrying about many things. I worry about ________________. I worry about the ______________. I worry when _________________. I worry about – OK, that’s enough because mental rehearsal is the engine that powers worry. Despite many years of dedicated effort to raise my level of […]
July 16, 2014

Why Today’s Workplace Needs Emotional Intelligence More Than Ever!

We learn a lot from our clients.  Their insights and experiences are our primary lifeline to what is happening at every level in today’s workplace. And too often, what we hear isn’t pretty. Overworked, overburdened, stressed, exhausted, cynical, pessimistic, untrusting, disengaged, resentful, frustrated, fearful and angry are common descriptions too many people give us.  Since we began integrating Emotional Intelligence […]
January 23, 2014

How Good is Your Word?

“What I’ve seen today for the first time is unacceptable. I am outraged and deeply saddened to learn that not only was I misled by a member of my staff, but this completely inappropriate and unsanctioned conduct was made without my knowledge.” (New Jersey Governor Christie in his 1st public statement on the “bridgegate” scandal) “We do not market food […]
August 15, 2013

Coping with Indirect Communication

“Human relationships are rich and they’re messy and they’re demanding. And we clean them up with technology. Texting, email, posting, all of these things let us present the self as we want to be. We get to edit, and that means we get to delete, and that means we get to retouch, the face, the voice, the flesh, the body […]
July 18, 2013

Lie to Me ~ revisited

Some years ago, I wrote a post inspired by– Lie to Me, a popular 2009 TV series. The premise was based on the expertise of a scientist, whose exceptional talent to solve crimes through facial deception detection, caught the “liar” every week.   Easy Hollywood math – clever, gifted sleuth outwits crafty criminals and justice is served – in less than […]