Living with Permanent Uncertainty

More and more people are talking about living in “uncertain” times.  It’s now called, “the new normal.” The anxiety over our predicament of uncertainty appears to be a new discovery.
Our long-held assumptions about the future are being quickly rearranged.  Collectively, our cultures are shifting so fast that we expect to live in an era of uncertainty.

Along with the popular acknowledgement that uncertainty is now permanent, comes the recognition that “chaos” is part the new world order.  Writing about his work to help the U.S. military “embrace” a future of uncertainty, Ori Brafman, author of The Chaos Imperative: How Chance and Disruption Increase Innovation, Effectiveness and Success,  explains ,  “The military, one of the most structured organizations that has ever existed on earth, has realized that in order to be adaptive it needs to embrace elements of chaos.”
While we don’t know what this means for military priorities and practices, it’s a high-profile signal of a mindset shake-up in the establishment status-quo.

In his blog, Unfolding Leadership, author Dan Oestriech offers another example of the changing nature of our reality. In Leading Change in a VUCA World,” Dan points out that to lead change in a VUCA world (volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous) leaders must be able to adapt and stimulate continuous organizational change.  He points out that earlier models of change management are outmoded top-down strategies designed to maintain control and overcome resistance

Awareness is progress, right? We’re seeing mindsets shift as a society – business, medicine, education, relationships  – every sphere of life feels the difference and the pressure for change.  We’re not going back to the old world – and more of us know it but aren’t sure what’s next. While organizations and institutional systems will either spend the next years attempting to shore up power and control (fail) or flex and flow experimenting with new models, what will our personal response to a VUCA world be?

Cultures change when people do.  So how do we handle our new collective awareness that living is a state of permanent uncertainty?  Organizational instability is one pill to swallow, personal volatility – quite another.

Growing a Bigger Mind 

In seeking consolation and clarity for unanswerable questions, I often turn to the work of a trusted resource – author Pema Chodron.  There’s nothing religious or mystical about the wise and practical advice that this American Buddhist nun offers.  Her work inevitably reminds me that I’m anxious and frustrated because I’m looking outside and not inside for guidance. In case we need reminding – uncertainty is and always has been our human companion.

In Living Beautifully (with Uncertainty and Change) Pema writes, “As human beings we share a tendency to scramble for certainty whenever we realize that everything around us is in flux.” Depending on our personality and experience, some of us make a great study of the ways we get and stay “organized.” We’re constantly trying to control what the Buddhists call “impermanence,” a state which most of us deeply resist.  According to Pema “We think that if only we did this or didn’t do that, somehow we could achieve a secure, dependable, controllable life.” Unfortunately since that’s not possible, we’re often disappointed when things don’t work the way we planned. Pema describes this state as the “fundamental activity of being human,” or what author Chris Hedges calls the “moral ambiguity of being human.”

Rationally we concede this constant state of impermanence in which we live; emotionally we resist it. Our attempts to fix our identities, feelings and thought processes often result in forms of chronic anxiety. We mentally and emotionally insist – this is the way to think, to feel, to act – this is how I will put the ground beneath my feet and stay planted as long as I can.   “Once we have this fixed idea,” says Pema, “then we see everything as a threat or a promise – or something we couldn’t care less about.”

Working with Our Resistance to Uncertainty 

Undoing resistance isn’t easy. It requires looking more deeply (with as little negative judgment as possible) to notice our reactivity.  Noticing is first non-doing. We do not have to “take action” whenever we become aware of our resistance. Not taking action to fix things is anathema to many of us – especially those raised in “get it done” Western cultures. The undoing of resistance is moving towards more responsive and spontaneous behavior (and in this category I put thought at the top of the list).  Implied is the eventual option of choice – we can learn to choose a path of non-reactivity with practice.

• Notice your binary, black-white, either-or thinking. Usually these thoughts patterns lead to where we hold our greatest attachments. These are often fixed-patterns, emblematic of what we consider our identity. Often when the ground shakes, we dig in and hold on to ideas about our identity.

• Identity attachments per se are not bad, but can be places we “park” our resistance as a way to attempt control over outcomes.  We can become “attached” to anyone or anything (people, events, thoughts, story-lines, behaviors, habits) “Attachment” in the positive psychological sense can be a healthy thing but those we cling to can be defenses constructed to avoid emotional discomforts.

• Notice reactions to emotions, particularly those we label as difficult. When emotions “arise” we often fuel our reaction by how we think about them. Oh no, not this feeling again.  What if this happens? What if that happens? We judge, often harshly, past feelings that haven’t “gone away.”   This resistance to the flow of our feelings and physical sensations is often indicative of our aversion to uncertainty.

But I’m human you say – it’s normal to feel this way – to resist uncertainty is certainly understandable. Yes, it is.  One of the most valuable practices I’ve learned from Buddhist teachings has been self-compassion.  While the idea of self-love and compassion can seem self-indulgent, the practice can offer great comfort and relief to soothe our most human vulnerability – fear of the unknown. Although we will keep trying to get away from the “fundamental ambiguity of being human,” we cannot.  As uncertainty is our constant human companion, anxiety and even fear, are at times, inevitable.

As Pema Chodron wisely counsels and consoles, “The way to dissolve our resistance to life is to meet it face to face.  When we feel resentment because the room is too hot, we could meet the heat and feel its fierceness and its heaviness. When we feel resentment because the room is too cold, we could meet the cold and feels its iciness and its bite. When we want to complain about the rain, we could feel its wetness instead. When we worry because the wind is shaking our windows, we could meet the wind and hear its sound. Cutting our expectations for a cure is a gift can give ourselves. There is no cure for hot and cold. They will go on forever.”

Thanks for reading! 

Louise Altman, Partner, Intentional Communication Consultants
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