December 8, 2011

Management, Neuroscience and Emotional Contagion – Redux

This week marks the 2nd Anniversary of The Intentional Workplace.  I’m pleased to say that in the past year the blog’s readership has greatly expanded. Thank you! All of this year’s posts continue to attract readers but two in particular stand out. They deserve a rerun.

I wrote Why Neuroscience Should Change the Way We Manage People from a purely organic sense of what was evolving in my work. As the science of understanding how the brain works continues to reshape our knowledge of human dynamics, it seems logical that management has to be re-thought in light of this new information.

Most management practices are the legacy of centuries-old thinking about human motivation.  Much of that thinking is now anachronistic. Everything in today’s organization needs to be reexamined in light of the information that is emerging about what humans need to thrive.  If we truly pay attention to this information, the fundamentals of management will be transformed.

It has been over fifteen years since the concept of Emotional Intelligence made its way into mainstream organizational life. It’s striking to me how foreign the world of emotions still is within the business mindset. Too many people are still acting as if emotions are a nuisance, or inappropriate – even taboo. 

 Our collective understanding of the role and value of emotions is still widely misunderstood. We’re way behind the illuminating findings of the neuroscience of emotions. Emotional contagion is real. It’s operating within every group, team and workplace relationship – regardless of whether leadership acknowledges it’s existence or not. Senior leaders would be wise to learn how it works. The conditions that leaders create can shift the emotional atmosphere of a culture, a meeting or a single interaction. We hope they’ll read the second most widely read post of this year - Leadership and Emotional Contagion.

Whether you are rereading these posts or discovering them for the first time – I hope you’ll enjoy. And I hope you’ll be back for more as The Intentional Workplace enters Year 3.

As always I appreciate your readership, comments, tweets and shares.

Louise Altman, Intentional Communication Partners

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December 1, 2011

Your Business Needs are Not the Same as Your Personal Needs

 

“People who are in touch with their needs do not make good slaves.”

  Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D

 

Needs are basic to life.  Everything we feel and do is in service to our needs. In the moment to moment biological imperative to meet our needs we make choices – thousands of choices. Every choice we make is an attempt to satisfy the need that is most deeply calling us at the moment. Mostly unconscious, this process never stops.

Our needs fall into two categories – physiological and psychological and we are in a relentless drive to meet them.

The physiologic basics: air, water, food, shelter, safety, sleep and touch are non-negotiable.  When we need air or water, all other needs are relinquished until we satisfy those essential needs. While there is, inexplicably, relatively little written about our basic human needs, there is agreement among academics on the universality of these needs.

Probably the most well-known categorization of needs, Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory classifies psychological needs as:

  • Belonging and Love (affection, relationships, family, work)
  •  Esteem (self-esteem, achievement, mastery, autonomy, status, recognition)
  •  Self-Actualization (purpose, meaning, fulfillment).

While many descriptions of needs have been identified in the category of psychological needs – everything from beauty to variety –  these fall more in the category of wants that may be means we use in pursuit of satisfying needs.

Why Aren’t We Better at Satisfying Our Needs?

Working with needs is fundamental to all the work I do as an organizational consultant. I can’t work with an individual, or a group, unless I understand what they need. Often I find it is difficult to get real needs clarified. Our needs literacy is even more obscure than our emotional repertoire. We aren’t taught the language of needs. Consequently most of us reach adulthood laden down with “strategies” developed to try to meet our needs. This is particularly true when it comes to our psychological needs.

Unaware of our psychological needs, we commonly pursue ineffective substitutes. Often our strategies involve manipulating our environment in some way to get what we think we need. We aren’t skilled in being direct and clear about what we need and how we feel when our needs are not met.  The costs of manipulating, compensating and suppressing our unexpressed real needs are high.  It takes vital neural energy to push down our real needs and seek superficial satisfaction.

Lack of understanding of our own needs can also take a big toll on our relationships with others.  Conflict is the direct result of unmet and competing needs. This process can happen inside and outside of relationships, especially when we are out of touch with our real needs.

My need to be a great parent and my need to work to make money do not  have to be competing needs, but they often are. This needs conflict can be an entirely internal process – the war that is waged within, but often with external fallout.

Interpersonal conflict is common. Life partners, colleagues and friends will inevitably come up against differing needs and the strong feelings attached to those needs.  Because of our lack of needs awareness, we typically try to resolve differences at the level of “positions.” I want this and you want that – and that’s that.

In their work, Harvard Negotiation Project pioneers and co-authors of Getting to Yes, Roger Fisher and William Ury spoke about the importance of focusing on the human needs at the core of the positional stances usually taken in conflicts.  The intransigent positions we take tend to keep us locked in conflict – and we rarely get near real needs in the process.

There is a purpose behind every position, and without knowing the purpose or reason that is the real motivator, it then becomes virtually impossible to identify the real problem which actually needs to be addressed.

Fisher and Ury realized that our most powerful interests (often mutual) relate to fundamental human needs. They point out that these basic needs do not just relate to individuals but also to groups, corporate entities, organizations and even nations.

“I Need That Information by Friday”

When I ask employees, especially those in conflict, to identify their needs, I typically get these kinds of responses, “We have to get the data to corporate by the 15th of the month,” “We need more productive meetings with full attendance,” “I need a colleague who takes initiative,” “Our team needs to make decisions faster.”  Buried inside of all these diagnoses and interpretations are needs – organizational needs and personal individual needs.

The person who says she needs a colleague to take more initiative may really need help so that she can accomplish her business obligations and personally satisfy her own goals. The employee who says he needs more productive meetings with everyone attending may really need to feel as if his effort to reliably show up for the meetings is recognized and rewarded.

If we don’t speak the language of needs and feelings, we can just keep going around in circles.

Marshall Rosenberg, internationally recognized conflict resolution expert and founder of the Center for Nonviolent Communication talks about the obstacles of dealing with needs in business settings, “In many of the organizations I work with, people can’t talk about their feelings. Nobody cares about what they feel and need. But when you don’t express your feelings and needs, when you just keep going into intellectual discussions, you end up like this company; unproductive use of time by not getting to the root of the problem.”

Since most organizations still run on a model of compliance with authority, we’re not likely to be able to influence our work cultures to rise to the level of open discussions with room for the expression of feelings and needs. But we can take responsibility for articulating our own needs. To do that, we’ve got to begin the process of learning to identify what we need, what we feel and how we behave in response.

Learning to Get to the Core of What You Need at Work

  • First and foremost begin to separate out what you need and what your boss, job, team and organization needs. Of course there will be compatibility in some areas, but while the organization may need you to be reliable to advance its profits, your need may not be the same.  It’s important to understand why you do what you do and what individual need it serves.  The goal here is to recognize and satisfy your own need.
  • Use your feelings as a guide to unearthing your needs. Your emotional literacy will be a valuable tool to help you to understand your needs. Emotions act like a barometer for our needs.  If you are feeling content, satisfied, enthusiastic, or confident, chances are you’re meeting your needs. If you’re feeling angry, resentful, overwhelmed and frustrated – the flashing red light is on telling you that your needs are not being met.
  • Understand that the more you understand your own needs – the more you will begin to see that other people’s needs are also driving their feelings and behavior.  Recognizing mutual needs is the great humanizer – often capable of producing real breakthroughs in communication.  When people feel understood, it’s easier for them to open to other possibilities. Understanding and respecting the needs of others requires empathy and produces more empathy in kind. 

You can change what you want, but you cannot change what you need. If you identify that you have a real need for autonomy – and you work for an intrusive, micro-managing boss, you can’t rationalize away your need. While you may not be able to change your situation immediately, you can begin to align your future wants and goals with that need.

Needs are powerful because they represent what is most alive and unique within us. Your well-being is based not only on the satisfaction of your physiological needs – but on your psycho-social needs as well. The fulfillment of those needs is what defines your humanity. Your work will only truly prosper when you experience the empowerment of realizing your own needs.

Author and theologian Howard Thurman spoke to the deep and enduring power of our needs when he said, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.”

As always, I am grateful for your readership, comments, tweets and shares.

Louise Altman, Intentional Communication Partners

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November 24, 2011

Do You Want Red, White or Pink Wine? Talking Emotional Literacy

 

 “The publication of Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence in 1995, marked a turning point in popular culture. Finally, emotions were deemed critical to human intelligence. Ironically, the book presents a model of emotional intelligence that is founded in the subordination of emotions to reason.”

 Miriam Greenspan, Healing Through the Dark Emotions

Wine Connoisseurs know that there is a vast array of wines to be had when given a choice. Telling the restaurant server you would like “white” doesn’t give them much information.   But unless we know and value the difference in wines, we get used to the habit of just requesting the generic brand.

There are over 2000 words in the English language alone that refer to feelings. While that may seem excessive, a bit of education about the world of emotions quickly reveals that each feeling we have has a unique, sometimes, nuanced character. While there are universal experiential similarities in the primary emotions, each one of us has an individual biological signature that lets us know what we are feeling. If we pay attention to that information – we’ll soon realize that our emotions, felt, over time, have a remarkable physiological similarity.

But naming emotions is not simply a cognitive act. I can give you a list of feelings that while interesting, does not guarantee that you can identify those emotional states in your body. This is a critical part of the emotional literacy learning experience. Until you connect the name of the emotion with the bodily sensations that express it, you won’t know if you are feeling worried or just concerned. There’s an important difference.

Getting out of our heads and into our bodies is the key. Scientists refer to this as “embodied cognition,” a very nifty term for the important fact that receiving, exchanging and communicating information with our environment is simply not a mind-brain event.

The Old Emotion vs. Reason Split

According to Jeffrey Schwartz, a research psychiatrist at the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA), “Cognition is embodied when it is deeply dependent upon features of the physical body. Dominant views in the philosophy of mind and cognitive science have considered the body as peripheral to understanding the nature of mind and cognition. Proponents of embodied cognitive science view this as a serious mistake.” This new understanding of the brain-body communication changes our definition of cognitive processing. It elevates the body as a source of information about our experience as valuable as that of the mind.

In writing about the age-old reason vs. emotion split, author Miriam Greenspan discusses the work of Emotional Intelligence author Daniel Goleman, “Despite its considerable contribution to valuing and understanding emotions, (Goleman’s) work is limited by a masculine bias against the emotional brain itself. Emotional control is the main goal.”  

Greenspan compares Goleman’s perspective with that of pioneering neuroscientist Candace Pert, author of Molecules of Emotions: Why You Feel the Way You Feel. In Pert’s model, emotional intelligence is suffused throughout the body, with every part – the endocrinal, gastrointestinal and immune systems all playing important roles. 

Highlighting Pert’s work, Greenspan states, “ Emotional intelligence hinges not on one part of the brain dominating another, but on a smoothly flowing system of emotional “infoenergy” throughout the body/mind. Emotions don’t need to be ruled; they need to be tolerated and expressed. They have an intelligence unto themselves; not when they are dominated, but when they are free-flowing.”

Naming What You Feel Changes What You Feel 

There’s some relatively new news in neuroscience that is one of the game-changers in increasing our emotional competency. In 2007, UCLA research, Dr. Matthew Lieberman, found that learning to “label” our emotions  maximizes cognitive ability.  He asserts that using simple language to “name” anticipated and experienced emotions, actually lowers the arousal of the limbic system producing a quieter brain state.

This, in turn, allows the Prefrontal Cortex (PFC – the “so-called rational brain) to function more effectively.   According to Dr.Lieberman, ”When you attach the word ‘angry,’ you see a decreased response in the amygdala, when you attach the name ‘Harry,’ you don’t see the same reduction in the amygdala response. In the same way you hit the brake when you’re driving when you see a yellow light, when you put feelings into words; you seem to be hitting the brakes on your emotional responses. As a result, an individual may feel less angry or less sad.”

The implications of these findings are impressive and important for our day-to-day emotional and cognitive functioning. While we are busy pushing down our true feelings (in some cases we call this being “professional” “adult” or “mature” ) we’re not only denying our real experience but we are taxing our cognitive functions and wasting precious brain fuel in the process. 

Another important outcome of increasing our ability to identify, allow and listen to our feelings is potentially decreasing the physical aggression which so often results from emotional triggering. When we “use our words” to mitigate our triggered emotions, we begin to switch off the fight or flight hormonal releases that spike physiological aggression. This aggression can be outer and/or inner directed depending on our degree of emotional overwhelm.

Using Your Words

There are two goals to accomplish when we get emotionally triggered. The first, typically with associated feelings of fear and anger, is to regain our composure and state of equilibrium as quickly as possible.

But the second goal, not reserved just for the challenging fight or flight group of emotions, should be to develop a greater ability to extract the message from the feeling. If you accept the idea that emotions are as Miriam Greenspan describes, “infoenergy,” then you recognize the potential value from each little emotional gem. Think of these emotional messages as barometers that gauge the state of your needs.

In her excellent blog, Brains on Purpose, author Stephanie West Allen suggests ways to practice mindfully identifying feelings and becoming more familiar with the language of our bodies. “Sometimes we become distracted from the direction in which we want to be going.  Our purpose may become clouded by anger, annoyance, confusion, jealousy, fear, or other feelings that knock us off-balance and take us off the path.  Brain research has provided a handy way to deal with the distraction. We label the feeling, saying in our mind or, if appropriate, aloud, statements such as “I am angry” or “I am nervous.”  When we make statements like this, that part of the brain feeling the distracting emotion is calmed.  We can then return to clarity and purpose.  The neuroscience literature calls this “labeling the affect.”

One prescriptive note to this excellent suggestion is to change the language you use from “I am angry” and “I am nervous” to “I feel angry” and “I feel nervous.”  I believe that the language softens the totality of the experience. We “are” many things, and anger and nervousness or any other feeling passing through does not define our total experience.

As Stephanie points out  it is often difficult – in the heat of the moment – to stop and remember to label what we are feeling. That’s why when we learn to practice this mental notation  when we are not in emotionally triggering situations, we learn to build a capacity that cumulatively rewires the brain.  Most of us need practice, practice, practice. Eventually, this can result in a shift in how we react when our emotional buttons get pushed – regardless of the source.

While it takes consistent effort – the payoff for becoming more emotionally literate can be enormous. We can experience, after all, a sense of greater freedom and liberation from tyrannical emotional states. 

Wisely, author Miriam Greenspan assures us, “Befriending emotional energy is about focusing our attention on these sensations and reactions nonjudgementally, allowing the body to feel what it feels, and the mind to think what it thinks, while maintaining a witness consciousness – a mindful awareness of the stream of sensations and thoughts as they pass through our bodymind.”

Science is helping us to learn that the surest way to release and move through our emotions is to embrace them. The more we know them, the more we understand their message. The more we invest in our emotional literacy – the more energy we free up. Keeping the lid on what we feel is an idea whose time has passed.

As always, your readership, comments, subscriptions, shares and tweets are much appreciated.

Louise Altman, Partner, Intentional Communication Consultants

 

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November 17, 2011

Because I Said So: The Slow Death of Authoritarian Leadership

We’re watching it happen before our very eyes.  From the uprising in the Middle East to the emergence of the Occupy Movement – much of the world is experiencing profound collective introspection. For some it’s a slow bubbling – for others; a fast boil.

Our beliefs, practices, institutions and our leaders – especially our leaders, are undergoing intense scrutiny and criticism. The effects are chaotic and exciting, all at once.

Ever since 1939, when psychologist Kurt Lewin named a style of leadership that has prevailed for time immemorial – authoritarian or autocratic, we’ve watched its slow demise. In the 72 years since Lewin’s research, we’ve studied, analyzed and considered the need and role of authoritarian leadership.

Lewin correctly recognized the limits of authoritarian leadership even in the turbulent period in which he did his work. Imagine opening the daily newspapers of that era, where Mussolini, Hitler, Hirohito and Franco reigned with absolute power.

Lewin, who escaped Hitler’s Germany himself, was remarkable in his understanding of the effect of a leader’s style (behavior) on his “followers.”  The authoritarian leadership style, still the prevalent global leadership style today, is characterized by nearly absolute control in determining direction and making decisions.

The influence and impact of others remain subordinate to the power of the authoritarian leader. This “style” has been so influential in the development of modern management systems that the term for those who work for those leaders still remains – subordinates.

Lewin wisely recognized that authoritarian leadership produced lower levels of participation and creativity. In his three stage theory of change; Lewin believed that the first step required an “unfreezing” of the inertia that resisted change and a dismantling of the mindsets that kept the status quo in place. Lewin thought this phase of change typically resulted in confusion and chaos. We know that the old ways are no longer working and we still haven’t caught sight of the how and what will come. 

The new mindsets are being birthed, but we can’t get to the third stage of completion until we get through those uncomfortable, often arduous first two steps.

 The Beginnings of Leaderless –ness? 

Regardless of your politics or opinions of the two month old Occupy Movement, they can be credited for raising the level of awareness and conversation of critical issues to an international dialogue in an extraordinarily short period.

One of the most confounding and interesting developments of the Occupy Movement has been its embodiment as a leaderless entity. Mirroring its predecessors in the Arab Spring, the Occupy Movement has so far consciously resisted the identification of leaders.

According to Micah Sifry, Editor and Curator of the Personal Democracy Forum, the notion of “leaderless-ness” does not connote a disorganized, uninformed mass, “Political movements can’t be leaderless. The Occupy Movement is, in fact, leader-FULL. That is, the insistent avoidance of traditional top-down leadership and the reliance on face-to-face and peer-to-peer networks and working groups create space for lots of leaders to emerge, but only ones that work as network weavers rather than charismatic bosses.”

The leaderless-ness of the Occupy Movement has been a challenging concept in a culture that promotes leadership styles that model the strongest, loudest and most persistent among us. It’s commitment to giving a voice to the most marginalized and timid among us is both refreshing – and important.

The proliferation of all things Occupy – speaks to the underlying powerless of most people in relation to most institutions.  The Occupy concept is spreading. Occupy Education, Occupy Boardrooms, Occupy Nonprofits, Occupy Museums – even Occupy Hollywood.  The Occupy Movement is awakening values. It’s speaking not just to leaders and institutions whose primary allegiance is to the protection of power, but to systems and practices that are perceived as exclusionary, excessive, imbalanced, unfair and unjust.

Ultimately, the nonhierarchical Occupy Movement focuses us on the question of power – who has it, how it is used and whether it is shared.

Authoritarian Leaders in a Connected, Networked and Social World

Leadership style has a direct causal relationship on the values, culture,  motivation and success of an organization or institution. Classically, authoritarian leaders are not concerned with the will and needs of their “followers.” They lead by methods, with varying degrees of sophistication, of coercion. There’s little shared vision. While in today’s world, they have learned to speak the language of team work, talent, innovation and social purpose, their subjective lens on the world still requires the subjugation of the will and needs of others.

Leaders in a wired world are now exposed in ways that were unimaginable even five years ago. Their actions are inevitably visible, sometimes immediately, especially problematic for them as the demand for transparency becomes more urgent.  In a networked world, authoritarian leaders stand out like totemic figures, who by their very position, become targets.

Micah Sifry’s comments on how technology is changing the political world, can be generalized to the organizational leader, “The notion that a political movement might arise without charismatic leaders is inconceivable. Every previous movement, after all, has had its figureheads. But it’s a vastly different kind of leadership that is emerging. It’s one that is like the networked technology that supports it. Most of us come from a world and a generation that only knows one kind of leadership, the one whose organizational structure looks like a confusing government flowchart.

Everything about our industrial age institutions, trains us to think of leadership as top-down, command-and-control. Give the right answer, get into the right school, get a good job, work your way up the chain of command, win the good life. But today, more and more of us live in a sea of lateral social connections, enabled by personal technology that is allowing everyone to connect and share, in real-time, what matters most to them.”

While today’s authoritarian leaders are inescapably on a collision course with technology, social media and generational demographics, making the transition to more democratic and participative leadership  and systems will not be easy. The models are starkly different. They require radically different mindsets and skills to succeed.

Not known for their empathic skills, authoritarian leaders must literally learn to rewire their neural networks to expand their appreciation and understanding of others.  Studies have found that the higher the degree of preference for social dominance orientation, the lower the activation in the brain centers for pain recognition in others.

Organizations and institutions built on the old hierarchical models will become increasingly difficult to sustain in such a highly competitive, interrelated global environment.  The new model of leadership will require highly conscious mindsets that understand that systems are comprised of whole persons with unique needs and skills.

The signposts are clear. The emerging leader desires partnership, balance and creativity. This leader is not reluctant to share power. This leader is not driven simply by an individualistic vision. This leader understands that real trust and loyalty are not quaint artifacts of bygone days – but real energies to be harnessed for the collective good.

These leaders are committed not only to their own constant evolution – but the evolution of others. Unlike the autocratic leader, these leaders understand that unless we’re in this together, there’s a world of trouble ahead.

So where are we now?  Is it possible to imagine an organization, a world without authoritarian rule? Can we glimpse the possibilities of something new emerging?

I hope so.

As always, I appreciate your readership, subscriptions, tweets and shares.

Louise Altman, Intentional Communication Partners

 

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November 10, 2011

Gratitude, Kindness and Caring in the Workplace

I’ve decided to jumpstart the Thanksgiving season by recycling several very popular past posts.  What I’ve noticed in the past few months is that these posts (and several related ones) consistently show up in the top-tier.  While we don’t need a holiday (hopefully) to feel and show our gratitude, kindness and caring towards others - it certainly is a good time for reflection on what we value deeply and how we live our values.

We begin with Creating a Culture of Gratitude in the Workplace. Gratitude is one of my “Go To” emotions. One of the competencies of emotional intelligence is developing the ability (this is ongoing work) to cultivate the emotions that create positive self-supportive energy within us. For me, gratitude is grounding. It helps remind me of who I am – and where I want to be — even if I’ve taken a temporary detour. I find it especially centering when I get lost in too much comparing and striving. Gratitude helps me to re-focus and gain greater clarity and perspective.

Why Do We Have to “Promote” Kindness at Work  generated a lot of attention. I wrote it in response to a Harvard Business Review article that explored the absence of kindness in today’s workplace. It’s disturbing to me that we have to make the case for people to treat each other with kindness and respect at work.  What many people construe as an empathy void in others, is often just a symptom of Empathy Deficit Disorder brought on by too much self-absorption and distraction.  We all sometimes block our natural empathetic tendencies towards others as a form of emotional self-protection. It’s a natural, but often unconscious response.  Unless we’re aware of what and why we block our feelings, it can become habitual. (P.S. I love the little poem at the end of this post)

You can’t build positive relationships at work if you don’t care about the feelings of other people. I am consistently amazed at how many people expect productive outcomes in work relationships when they don’t show an iota of care in their communication. Short and simple this post, Workplace Relationships – You Have to Care  makes the case  that caring counts

Hope you enjoy!

As always, I appreciate your readership, subscriptions, tweets and shares.

Louise Altman, Partner, Intentional Communication Partners

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November 3, 2011

The Bullies Among Us

 In every nook and cranny of the workplace – private, public and non-profit – bullies are dominating their co-workers, often with the tacit and explicit approval of management.

I feel compelled to write something about these toxic behaviors that are permeating our schools and workplaces.  Within the past two years, in nearly every public seminar my company conducts and in many private conversations with clients, the subject of bullying comes up. Employees, some in human resources, seem immobilized in dealing with the problem. Many would rather avoid dealing with it, rather than take on what they see as a thorny, messy and possibly fruitless intervention.

I’m no expert on the subject and no stranger to it either. But I’d like to use this week’s post to share some thoughts, information and resources that I’ve gathered in researching the problem.  On the personal side, I can say that having been the victim of high school bullies, the impact is painful and life-changing.

The more I read about the issue, the more I am convinced of its seriousness and far-reaching implications.  Avoiding the problem and applying weak and fragmented interventions is a recipe for escalation. Advances in neuroscience have shown that emotions are contagious. So what can management possibly expect when these toxic pockets of anger, hate, rage, shame, fear, humiliation and revenge are allowed to fester unattended?

It appears that most of the efforts to deal with the problem made by management and institutions too often focus on personalities, rather than a rigorous examination of the cultural norms that feed and enable bullying behavior to flourish.

Why the Rise in Bully Behavior?

This problem is so complicated and multi-layered that I hesitate even attempting to identify some of the factors that may contribute to the widespread statistical increase in bullying (of all types).

Not enough has been written about the dramatic changes in organizational culture that may be implicated in the increases in bullying behaviors in the workplace. The pressures from economic forces and globalization must be considered in any analysis.

Over the past twenty years there have been radical changes transforming the way business is conducted at every level. Globalization, huge demographic shifts, economic turbulence and massive technological change have created a sea change in the way work is done.  Much slower to change, however, have been organizational mindsets and understanding of the impact of these sweeping changing on human dynamics.

While organizations have recognized the importance of investing in upgrading workers’ technical skills, far less has been allocated to increasing communication competencies and interpersonal skills. As a result, the pressure on managers continues to increase while their skill base limits their abilities to coach rather than dictate and manage their own escalating stress in the process.

Writing in a comprehensive report on bully behaviors and organization change, Michael Sheehan, of Griffith University in Australia has said, “Organizations appear to have developed a culture whereby the achievement of organizational goals justifies the means. In this culture, managers may perceive that they have a mandate to use whatever techniques or behavior is deemed necessary in the deployment of their human resources.”

Sheehan makes the point that downsizing and restructuring processes have impacted managers from many directions. Squeezed from all ends, managers find they lack the external and internal resources to meet and exceed expectations.According to Sheehan, “In the struggle for efficiency and profit in turbulent market conditions, organizations do exert pressure on their managers. Organizational change, including terminations and the introduction of new technology, increases organizational demands on managers and consequently increases managerial stress These pressures tend to lower the threshold at which managers, particularly those operating at the limits of their skills competencies, might adopt bullying behaviors – even if involuntarily.”

 Inside the Bullied Brain

Bullying alters brain chemistry. Studies show that prolonged bullying can produce chemical and structural changes to the brain that can result in cognitive and emotional damage – in some cases as severe as that done in child abuse. Unfortunately, not enough research has been done in adult cases, although most researchers agree that the residual affects result in PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) for most adults.

In his article, The Bullied Brain, author David Walsh reports that the level of the stress hormone cortisol is higher in bullied boys meaning that their stress reaction system is in constant overdrive. Research from McLean Hospital found that brain scans of bullying victims showed significant shrinkage in the corpus callosum — the brain tissue that connects the left and right hemispheres. This makes it difficult for victims to process what is happening around them and to respond appropriately.

Walsh points out that when the brain’s “alarm system,” the amygdala is repeatedly activated the brain is in a constant state of arousal. It’s as if the radar is finely tuned, always ready to pick up the slightest hint of a threat.  

In his excellent blog, Minding the Workplace, bullying expert, David Yamada suggests a link between bullying behavior and domestic abuse. In speculating why the bullied stay in their jobs despite their hostile and threatening environment, Yamada explains, “abused parties stay in the relationship, either hoping that things will change or otherwise feel trapped without options. The abuse continues and the target keeps enduring it, sometimes for years. On occasion they become so consumed with the bullying situation itself that their “fight or flight” instincts break down and they become embroiled in a game they can’t win.”

It’s important to also understand the high correlation between the bully’s brain and their own untreated and unresolved victimization from childhood abuse. Although not all bullies are the victims of abuse, the percentage demonstrated in studies is high. The bully cycle gets replayed over and over – and the number of victims stemming from the original violence increases until a victim breaks the chain by getting the help they need to heal and recover.

What Can We Do? 

The most important things anyone can do to help break the spiraling cycle of bullying in our culture is to learn, educate and take action.  There are a growing number of resources that can help.

  1. Understand the signs of bully behavior at work – From spreading gossip and rumors, exclusion and isolation, constant and unfounded criticism, tampering with personal belongings, intrusion of privacy, yelling and using obscenities to physically abusing or threatening abuse.
  2. If you are the object of workplace bullying – There are a number of common mistakes those who are bullied at work should avoid.  Most common is to engage in self blame. Self blame often leads to attempts to placating bullies, which rarely, if ever works. It’s also important to seek outside help and support. Recognize that this situation is likely to escalate and you are under psychological strain while you are involved in it.
  3. If you know someone who is being bullied at work – You can be a source of support and help to a bullied colleague.  Our silence is often perceived as permission that allows bullying to continue. However, it’s crucial to stay aware and cautious. Those who stand up for bullies publicly could find themselves on the firing line. This is especially true when the manager is the bully and if the organization has a history of condoning bully behaviors.
  4. If you are in a leadership position or human resources within your organization – I continue to be surprised by HR professionals who do not seem to know much about anti-bullying interventions. Get to know the roots of the ten-year history of the movement to address bullying in the workplace. Learn about the American Psychological Association’s Psychologically Healthy Workplace Program  Familiarize yourself with the legislative initiatives that are gaining momentum in the U.S. The Healthy Workplace Campaign details here. Since 2003, 21 states have introduced legislation and as of 5/2011 16 bills are currently active in 11 states.
  5. Because workplace bullying is often associated with weak leadership and organizational policies, it is important to understand and identify the practices and norms that may be enabling and sustaining bullying in your organization. Five key goals should guide your efforts:
  • Widespread surveys of the workplace climate with guaranteed anonymity for disclosure
  • Quick management responses to allegations of bullying with rapid investigations
  • Fully developed policies regarding bullying, discrimination and harassment which articulate mechanisms for responding to bullying, grievances and safety concerns.
  • Clear, articulated guidelines for management role modeling to prevent and intervene in suspected or actual bullying incidents.
  • Providing training and education to prevent aggression and bullying in the workplace. Counseling and support opportunities for victims and perpetrators of bullying.

If you believe, as I do, that bullying is a form of psychological violence, you will want to do what you can to eliminate it from our institutions and workplace cultures.  It is a destructive force that threatens our well-being, destroys productivity and poisons our society.

We’re wise to heed the words of Gavin de Becker, author of the Gift of Fear, “The solution to violence in (America) is the acceptance of reality.”

I am very interested in your thoughts, experiences and suggestions for dealing with bullying in the workplace.

As always, I appreciate your readership, subscriptions, tweets and shares.

Louise Altman, Intentional Communication Partners

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October 27, 2011

Question the Answers: Using Critical Thinking to Change Workplace Dynamics

“Heresy is another word for freedom of thought.” Graham Greene

I often hear people say, “We need more critical thinking in the world, we should be teaching it in schools.” I don’t disagree with those ideas. But I wonder if we understand how much change real critical thinking would bring – to our schools, to the workplace, to our cultures and to our personal lives.

I’m not an expert in the progress of pedagogy, but I suspect that the teaching of critical thinking isn’t at the top of most school lists in this “Age of Austerity” (at least for most). We don’t really understand critical thinking enough to know how much we struggle and suffer from a lack of it.  

Most corporations and institutions say they need innovation, creativity, sustainability and trust to compete in the 21st century.  They understand that the new worker is a knowledge worker and that continuous learning is the jewel in the crown of assets to get there. But I don’t think they really mean they want critical thinkers!

Critical thinkers ask questions. They must “live in the questions” as the poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote. To the critical mind, questions lead to more questions. Critical thinkers not only challenge the status quo, they shake it up. They turn the status quo on its head and always ask, “Is there another way?”  That’s not comfortable to those who have an “immunity” to change.

That’s  why it’s tough for most institutions and organizations to really embrace the full meaning and possibility of unleashing critical thinking within their cultures. While we’re in the grip of a powerful cultural meme that says that governments stifle progress and growth and businesses free it – neither are true.

Critical thinkers pose a threat to norms, to the safe and the orthodox. Critical thinkers toss the moneylenders out of the temple. Their very essence is to challenge atrophied practices and outdated assumptions.

For critical thinking to thrive, it must operate in an atmosphere of trust. Power politics, organizational and personal,  shut down free thinking and the honest exchange of ideas – and are the enemy of critical thought.

The Essence of Critical Thinking

Critical thinking is essentially the ability to think about thinking. Most people don’t think about their thinking, and it’s not a skill many of us have acquired. In a results-driven culture, thinking about thinking feels passive. But developing the skills of a critical thinker is anything but passive. In its purest form, it requires the present and active involvement and engagement of the thinker in every experience.

In defining critical thinking many people get negatively hooked by the word – critical. The critical in the context of critical thinking doesn’t mean disapproval or judgment.  In fact, the skilled critical thinker needs to have the ability to think with great clarity and neutrality. The critical thinker is not without opinion, but has the ability to view experience from multiple perspectives.

Sharpening the Skills of Critical Thinking 

The classic core elements of critical thinking include: observation, interpretation, analysis, inference, evaluation, explanation, and meta-cognition. How we understand and define these tools is important to the development of critical thinking.

  • Observation – I think of this as the constant development and refinement of our ability to not only be self-aware but to cultivate the neutral (non-judgmental) “witnessing” of our own experience of self and others. This is the foundational skill we use to build critical thought.
  • Challenging Beliefs and Norms – Norms form around comfort. While comfort may feel good, it can also be a refuge from change. Unexamined beliefs form major blind spots to critical thinking. We cannot discern the evidence we need to substantiate certain claims and assertions, if non-factual beliefs dominate our thinking.
  • Ask Deep and Engaging Questions – Questions are surely the crux of critical thinking, but learning to ask deeper and more engaging questions is the key. Most of us have been conditioned by rote learning and memorization and our questioning skills have been weakened in the process.
  • Brain Integration – One major cultural assumption that limits critical thinking is the idea that emotions are the enemy of reason. Rationality (the thinking we associate with the neo-cortical functions of our brain) is nearly always considered the Supreme ruler of critical thinking. Truth is we need a greater ability to integrate and balance both our so-called thinking brain and our feeling brain to maximize understanding and heighten experience. Familiarity with the information from our feeling brain invites intuitive and sensual experience into the equation.
  • Collaborative Thinking – Critical thinking is social thinking. Practices in all areas of culture, but especially in the workplace, continue to foster authoritarian, left-brain, hierarchical thinking processes. Collaborative thinking requires exceptional listening abilities and the willingness to let go of control in over-asserting our own positions.
  • Information and Learning – The critical thinker understands that learning is a continuous process and is actively seeking and open to new ideas and experiences. The critical thinker seeks out information not as a means to an end but to understand more about other people, their experiences and the larger world.
  • Becoming Literate in the Emotions that Support Critical Thought – All emotions are of value to the critical thinker, but some are particularly important to engage, promote and sustain critical thought. Courage, confidence, enthusiasm, excitement, fascination, passion, optimism, satisfaction, wonder, appreciation, empathy, compassion, acceptance, calm and curiosity – the great driver of critical thought.
  • Meta-Cognition – A very spiffy term to describe the critical thinker’s automatic awareness of their own knowledge and their ability to understand and control their own cognitive process. So – learning more about how we learn serves the critical thinker in their continuous path of growth.

Our need for critical thinking is greater today than ever before. We need to find a way to step outside of isolated and polarized thinking. We must learn to question the assumptions, information and behaviors that have led us to where we are now.

Most of us would agree that tepid reforms won’t change our workplaces or our culture. Critical thinkers challenge the safe, the comfortable and the inevitable. They are always going for ideas that have greater impact and depth. They make connections between things that appear on the surface as unrelated. They seek out possibilities even when problems seem insurmountable.

If we want to truly unleash the power of critical thinking, we’ll have to overcome the barriers of fear and passivity; entrenched and informal power arrangements; bias and conformity and the willingness to tolerate uncertainty.

It’s a tall order – are we ready?

As always, I appreciate your readership, comments, subscriptions, shares and tweets!

Louise Altman, Partner, Intentional Communication Consultants

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October 20, 2011

8 Ways to Decrease Organizational Fear

 “The fantasy about organizational life is that people will behave in logical, unemotional and well-organized ways. It’s as though the boxes on the organizational charts are designed to keep the messiness of reality, people and emotions away from work.”

Dan Oestrich and Kathleen Ryan, co-authors, Driving Fear from The Workplace.

 How is it that with flattened hierarchies, employee engagement, empowered teams and learning organizations there is still so much fear in most organizations?

 Fear, the terrible artifact of hundreds of years of authoritarian and assembly line management thinking, is still fully operative today.

 Unconscious thinking, lack of self-awareness, rigid and unchallenged personal and collective beliefs and ignorance, misuse and abuse of power keep fear alive.  In all of its overt and covert forms, fear still plays as major a role in most organizational life as it did a hundred years ago.  The forms have changed. Because management by fiat isn’t an attractive “brand” these days, fear has become more sophisticated and multi-layered. It’s mainstreamed into cultural norms and buried in organizational systems and structures.

 There are still many organizational “leaders,” caught in the paradigm shift of modern organizational practices, who erroneously believe that the two primary human emotional motivators are fear and greed.  The news from neuroscience about the function of the human brain as a “social” organ either hasn’t trickled up to these leaders or has not sufficiently impressed them to get management practices in line with scientific facts.

 We aren’t taught to understand human power dynamics. Our confused, beleaguered education systems still have not determined that understanding intrapersonal and interpersonal fundamentals are keys to personal, professional and institutional success.   Many organizations, departments and teams are still slavishly hashing out adolescent power struggles that counter genuine productivity and cause real and unnecessary suffering in the process.

It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way?

If you believe, as I do, that fear is the enemy of engagement, that it thwarts personal and collective progress and that it makes us sick, it’s crucial that we identify the ways that fear permeates organizational culture and personal behavior.

 The list is long – but let’s highlight a few of the most important practices that can decrease the atmosphere of fear in the workplace:

  1. Increase, Enhance and Model Self Awareness – Unless we are enmeshed in self-deception, it’s difficult for fear to dominate our thinking, feelings and behavior when we are truly self-aware.  Awareness and honest self-reflection can act as an antidote to engaging in fear-based behaviors.
  2. Learn, Practice and Promote Emotional Intelligence – There is simply no excuse for leaders in the 21 century to dismiss the value of emotional literacy and competency. Fear’s an easy and primitive emotional response to elicit – the cheap seat in the house.   Inspiring and influencing others through passion, enthusiasm and courage should be the true calling for leaders.
  3. End Conflict Aversion – Too many people are too afraid to have the critical conversations they need to have to make real progress. Most of the carping, bullying, gossiping and congealed old feelings that keep conflict alive are the result of people being fearful of honest confrontation.  A lack of skill plays a big role in conflict aversion and fear is the glue that holds it together.
  4. Leaders – Loosen the Reins of Control – One of the top three challenging topics still most mentioned by managers in my seminars is delegation – essentially the fear of letting go of control.  In many cases, structural impediments (practices, rules, norms) impede managers from relinquishing control, but often this is a personal limitation imposed on others because of fear.
  5. Overcome Your Resistance to Change - If you haven’t noticed, nothing is standing still anymore – not that it ever was – but it seems to be going faster today.  Unless you come to terms with the ways you avoid, deny and resist change, you are going to lock fear tactics into place – for yourself and others.
  6. Stop Trying to Control Information, Resources and Decision Making – This item relates to all the other points above (well – actually they are all inter-related).  Regardless of your position within an organization, you have the opportunity to share your knowledge and model trust in your handling of these important organizational currencies.
  7. Model “Transparency” – Transparency is one of those buzz words that’s losing its meaning.  Honesty, reliability and integrity are in such short supply that many of us have become understandably cynical about the possibilities of real transparency in the workplace.  The reality is we cannot sustainably accomplish what we need to accomplish without it. When you model these rare qualities you strike a blow against the domination of fear.
  8. Reduce Work Load – What’s fear got to do with workload? Everything.  Recently a client shared her distress over how her manager was overseeing her work load.  Although she had been traveling extensively for business, putting in long nights working on several projects, our client is still fearful of asking her boss to reduce her load or support her in some way.  In fact, on her last day before heading off to a one week vacation, her manager gave her another assignment due shortly after she would return.  Badly stressed, she spent most of her family vacation on the computer.  Her manager, consciously or not, seems to be clueless as to her employee’s stress level. While our client has a responsibility to share her concerns with her boss, this leader isn’t taking any responsibility to address the fear that is driving one of her most tenacious and responsible employees.

 Wise leaders think about the ways fear impacts their employees. They are concerned and proactive in identifying the ways fear incubates in a culture and infects the mindsets of workers.  These leaders understand that fear, like other emotions, is contagious.   They understand that the human brain is wired for two essential responses – threat and reward. Wisely, they choose to align their organizational practices and work processes with the latter.

 What do you believe organizations and their leaders can do to reduce fear in the workplace? What do you believe you can do to decrease your own fears at work?

As always, I appreciate your readership, subscriptions, comments, shares and tweets!

Louise Altman, Partner, Intentional Communication Consultants

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October 16, 2011

BLOG ACTION DAY 2011: Right Next Door – Your Hungry Neighbor

Today is Blog Action Day: Thousands of bloggers globally are focusing on FOOD. Recognizing that so many people in today’s workplace are unemployed and underemployed, I’ve chosen to focus on the growing problem of hunger we face in the United States.  Today is the day to comment, share, give and take action to ease the pain of hunger in the U.S. and beyond.
 

 

Sarah B, 50, was scared and embarrassed as she entered her local food bank in Napa, California.  Close to tears when she approached a friendly food bank volunteer, Sarah was directed to the latest offerings of bread, canned vegetables, soups and cereals.  During a typical food bank visit, Sarah and others can expect about $50 worth of food.

After making a comfortable living for years as a sales representative in software and related industries, Sarah finds herself struggling to hold on to the mortgage on her $300,000 condo. “I’ve worked my whole life building a little nest egg that was wiped out by two years of unemployment and stock losses, and now I don’t know what will happen to me in the future.”  Despite her difficult situation, Sarah recognizes that the plight of many others at the food bank is dire.

You don’t expect to hear about food banks in places like Napa Valley, home to such exalted dining experiences as the French Laundry, where the prix fixe menu costs $270 pp (service included). But in Napa and affluent suburbs all over the U.S. food banks are on the rise and the demand keeps rising.

According to Larry Sly, the director of the Contra Costa, CA food bank, 10% of those coming are new people and he’s unable to keep up with the demand.  Mr. Sly says that the people now coming to the food bank, especially those used to making six figure incomes are apologetic.  Like Sarah, these people and families could have never imagined finding themselves there.

As one volunteer put it, “the lines are getting longer every day. People are hitting the bottom of the barrel. This is the real indicator of where the economy is – not the Dow Industrial average.”

The Hunger Statistics Keep Rising

The “crisis” in hunger in the United States of America is emblematic of the growing crisis of poverty. According to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities (CBPP) the actual number of Americans living in poverty has hit 46.2 million, the highest number since the Census Bureau started measuring poverty in 1959.  The CBPP states that 500,000 more children fell into poverty in 2010, bringing the total to nearly 16 million.  39 states plus, D.C. have experienced significant rises in their “deep poverty” status in the past four years and no state saw a decline in their numbers.

According to a recent Gallup Poll, that while the U.S. ranks of the middle class continue to decline, the Chinese middle class has grown since the mid-1990′s. While more than 20% of all Americans reported difficulty in putting food on the table, only 6% of Chinese respondents reported that problem, down from 16% in 2008.

In every category, U.S. hunger statistics are abysmal. Feeding America reports that in every group (suburban, rural, child, senior and working poor) hunger is on the rise.

  • The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) reports that for the third consecutive year, 1 in 6 Americans live in households that are food insecure.
  • Among the nearly 49 million Americans facing hunger are more than 16 million children. 
  • Five million households experiencing food insecurity include at least one senior. 
  • Food insecurity exists in every county in America, ranging from a low of 5 percent in Steele County, ND to a high of 38 percent in Wilcox County, AL.

What About OUR Kids?

 

The U.S. likes to think of itself as a “child centric” culture.  We love kids.  Tragically, nearly 16 million of them, 3 million who are 5 years old and under, are estimated to be going hungry in America today.  20% or more of the child population in 40 states and D.C. lived “food insecure” in 2010. In 2009, the top five states with the highest rate of food insecure children under 18 are the District of Columbia, Oregon, Arizona, Arkansas, & Texas.

In reality, many children are kept partly fed through Federal and State programs that are increasingly under political attack.  WIC (the Women, Children’s and Infants program), the The National School Lunch Program and the USDA’s SNAP program  are the only thing keeping child hunger numbers from exploding through the roof.

When Congress (as part of the Debt Ceiling Agreement in August 2011) created the so-called Super Joint Selection Committee to cut 1.5 trillion in deficit reductions over the next 10 years, these programs were placed in serious jeopardy of survival.  These cuts and those to other entitlement programs, if enacted, could send child poverty rates to unprecedented levels.

Is Food A Human Right?

Recalling the words of her mother, Frances Moore Lappe, in her  1971 classic book, “Diet for a Small Planet,” author Anna Lappe comments, “On a planet that produces more than enough calories to make us all chubby, hunger’s root cause is a clearly not a scarcity of food but a scarcity of democracy.  In the 40 years since Lappe’s ground breaking book started a dialogue about global food policy, two things have happened; global hunger has grown and so has the consciousness about food hunger politics and policies.  For years policies and interventions have been based on the assumption that hunger, is  a technical issue.  That premise has resulted in failure.  

All over the globe, failed policies at every level have resulted in growing cynicism and hunger and a growing knowledge that unless hunger is addressed as an issue of democracy, power and human rights, real change – that is, the transformation of hunger is not possible.

While the rest of the world has increasingly come to see food as a human right – that awareness has been slow to grow in the United States. According to Olivier De Schutter, United Nations rapporteur on the right to food asserts, “It’s extremely difficult to get the concept of the right of food across in the U.S. because of the constitutional tradition that sees human rights as “negative” rights – rights against government – not “positive rights” that can be used to oblige government to take action to secure people’s livelihoods.”

Whether you agree with Mr. De Schutter’s ideas or not, it is difficult not to understand the basic premise that drives the growing global right to food movement, “Real freedom can be achieved only when individuals are shielded against the most serious exclusions caused by the market.”

 What YOU Can DO to HELP!

Right now, today, you have the power to reduce another person’s hunger.  There are so many wonderful organizations that are mounting heroic efforts daily to stem the growing tide of hunger in their communities.

Whether you prefer to act nationally or locally, here are some groups that provide food and food assistance to those in need:

Feeding America  This national organization supplies local food banks and provided food for over 37 million people in 2010. You can give – whatever you can – in a one time donation or in a monthly pledge.

 Your Local Food Bank – Nearly every community or region has a food bank now. Sometimes these services are independent or provided through existing services or religious groups. Google your town’s name and food bank to be directed to someone locally who needs your contribution sorely.

 NoKidHungry – Share our Strength’s growing program to pledge that no kid in the USA will go hungry by 2015. Through public and private partnerships, NoKidHungry’s program provides direct food assistance at local levels and education to raise hunger awareness

Volunteer: Your local food bank needs your help. Most food banks can only afford minimal staff salaries and welcome volunteers to support their efforts.  Advocacy organizations can also use your help to advance educational efforts to spread hunger awareness and lobby for protections of food dollars.

Take Action:

Unprecedented mandated discretionary spending cuts will be made in Washington, DC within the next few weeks.  Critical food programs are on the chopping block.

Now’s the time to email, call or write your U.S. Senator and Congressperson. 

 Locate your Senator and Congressperson by your state, go to their website and email or call them today. Let them know how you feel about preserving programs that serve the hungry.

Register your voice with the Hunger Task Force on Facebook

Everything you do matters.  Your voice is needed now more than ever. Our response now may alter the fundamental course of hunger and poverty in this country.

As always, thanks so much for reading, commenting, sharing – and most important - taking action today!

PS Look for a our regular new post each Thursday.

Louise Altman, Intentional Communication Partners

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October 13, 2011

Why Do So Many People in the Workplace Still Believe that Self-Development is Therapy?

Beliefs are powerful things. They persist even in the face of evidence – even in the light of experience.

The world of business – that is, the world of commerce,  is still largely under the impression that feelings have no place in the workplace. In light of what we now know from a wealth of neuroscience – that’s just dead wrong.

In 2011, few people still deny the existence of psychology, or that human dynamics are the workplace.

But too many people still hold the common assumption that self-development, that is – self-growth – is frivolous, a luxury, unnecessary, unproductive, unprofitable, impossible and  inappropriate in the workplace.

 In 2011, most people would say that change in the workplace is not only inevitable – but essential for growth and survival.

But too many people still hold the unhelpful and untrue belief that people don’t want to change, don’t need to change or are immune to change.

Why is that?  Why is it that we still haven’t made the link between personal and organizational development?

In their excellent book, Immunity to Change, co-authors, Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey point out that recent research has completely altered what we now know about adult development,. “When we began our work, thirty years ago, the accepted picture of mental development was akin to physical development – your growth was thought to end by your twenties.” 

The growth of the field of neuroscience has made a major contribution to redefining our understanding of mental complexity and the lifelong potential for cognitive development. Learning does not stop in young adulthood –  it is continuous.

Recent science has also affirmed that cognition and emotion are inseparable – providing ample evidence for us to surrender the false idea that our feelings are less important than our intellect or can be compartmentalized. In fact, authors Kegan and Lahey point out that organizations are “incredibly impeded by the covert dynamics that are never acknowledged around the emotional life of the organization. In order to really alter the dynamics of an organization, you’ve got to get that stuff out on the table, or it’s going to block you all the way.”

What Keeps the Myths Going?

Change is rarely easy, but it is possible. Our “immunity to change” is built on old beliefs that are constructed for self-protection.  We deny, delay and resist change as a way to minimize the anxiety of life’s inevitable uncertainties.  Avoidance is part of the brain’s structural defense against threat. Unless we use our cognitive abilities to consciously acknowledge and explore our resistance, our neural hardware continues to harden and thwart attempts to change.

Some common inhibitors to change include:

  •  Beliefs – the power of personal and collective beliefs can’t be overemphasized.  Unraveling the knots of our beliefs can be one of the most illuminating and freeing actions we can take towards change. Beliefs drive behavior, that’s why they are the starting point for change.  
  •  The Perception that Self-Development is Weakness – this is still a common belief in this culture, especially within the workplace.  We tend to seek power (the perceived antidote to weakness) in externals and deride those who seek internal knowledge.
  • Lack of Self-Awareness – the key to change (what do you want to change and why?)  is dependent upon your level of self-awareness. Immunity to Change authors, Kegan and Lahey, refer to the “blindspots” that keep us from even seeing what needs to be changed.
  • Fear of Change – we hear this term all the time. Unless we understand what it is we fear – it’s of little value to say fear is blocking our change. Most of the time what we fear is an illusory loss of control of the unknown.  We don’t know and can’t know the unknown so we believe that if we stick with what we know, we’ll be safe. 
  • Unwillingness to Feel our Vulnerability –   Attempts at self-protection often mean we create strategies to avoid experiencing the natural human feelings of vulnerability.  So one strategy (usually subconscious) is to avoid anything that feels like change.  Because we live in a results oriented culture, allowing a temporary sense of loss of direction that is part of feeling vulnerable, feels unacceptable.
  • Stigma – Despite all of our “progress” there is still a stigma attached to seeking outside help (even coaching).  It can still feel like a weakness to many people. Too many of us still can’t admit we don’t have all the answers, even if we are having difficulties and need support and new information.
  •  Lack of Skills or the Language for Change - Most of us haven’t had the training or exposure to the skills necessary to initiate and implement change in our lives.  Many people, even those leading change in organizations, still don’t understand the fundamentals of human dynamics.   People still talk about wanting to “just change behavior” without a basic understanding that how we act isn’t a separate function from what we think and feel. They are completely integrated processes.

Our anti-change narratives take many forms. If we listen closely to our self-talk (or our self-talk reinforcing itself to others) it can go like this:

“I’m not ready. I’ve got to get certain things in order before I can take that on.”

“This will never work.” Or “I’ve tried this before and it didn’t work.”

“I don’t want to rock the boat right now.”

“I can’t risk that kind of upheaval in my life now.”

“I don’t want to open up a can of worms.”

 

Peter Drucker, a “father” of modern management stated that, “the basic assumptions underlying much of what is taught and practiced in the name of modern management are hopelessly outdated and wrong.”   The complexity of business today demands that workers have a greater command of their mental complexity.

Performance based solely on past bottom line results is a limited model on which to run global business and achieve more meaningful work.  Unless people and organizations begin to embrace the idea that self-development is organization development, our advances will be confined to the remedial.  

Building our emotional competencies, expanding  positive capacities like resiliency, optimism and trust are the essence of self-development.

In the words of authors Lisa Lahey and Robert Kegan, “There is no expiration date on your ability to grow. No matter how old you are, the story of your own development – and the stories of those around you — can continue to unfold.”

Your readership, comments, subscriptions, shares and tweets are always appreciated.

Louise Altman, Partner, Intentional Communication

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